Writing a Eulogy That Captures the Essence of a Loved One
by Laura Clipson
• Published 25/09/2024
Writing a eulogy can be a deeply emotional and daunting task; to create a tribute that is heartfelt, memorable, and meaningful, capturing the essence of your loved one. This post offers some tips and advice to help guide you through the process.
A eulogy is a speech or written tribute that honours the life of someone who has passed away. It typically reflects on the person’s character, achievements, relationships, and the impact they had on others. Eulogies are personal, often uplifting, and are meant to comfort those mourning by celebrating the unique qualities of the deceased.
Eulogies are often given by a close family member or friend of the deceased, though sometimes they are read by the priest, minister, celebrant or funeral director who is leading the funeral.
- Start by reflecting on the life of your loved one. What were their passions and hobbies? How did others feel about them? Do you have any memorable moments or stories you can share? What were their most admirable qualities? How did they handle challenges?
- Keep the tone personal and uplifting. Celebrate the person’s life and personality, and don’t hesitate to incorporate humour, if appropriate. There’s no need for a eulogy to be overly formal or sombre, though keep in mind the emotions of the audience.
- Structure your eulogy with a beginning, middle and end:
- Introduction: introduce yourself and your relationship to the deceased. Acknowledge the loss, but focus on celebrating the life lived.
- Body: share your stories, memories, and the characteristics that define your loved one.
- Conclusion: you can choose to wrap up with a final reflection or meaningful quote, thank those in attendance or share a brief message of comfort.
- Rather than listing accomplishments or traits, share stories that illustrate these qualities in your loved one. For example, if they were known for their kindness, share a specific instance where they went out of their way to help someone.
- Be honest, but focus on the positive. While everyone has their flaws, a eulogy is not the place to dwell on them. If you do decide to mention challenges, do so in a way that highlights the person’s growth or resilience.
- Keep it concise; don’t be tempted to go into too much detail about your loved one’s life. Focus on the meaningful aspects, and try to keep the eulogy relatively short, around 5-10 minutes.
It can be daunting, standing up in front of so many people to give a eulogy. Here are some tips to help you give the eulogy:
- Practice reading the eulogy aloud before the day of the funeral. This will help you get comfortable with the flow of your speech and ensure you can deliver it clearly.
- It’s normal to feel emotional when reading a eulogy. If you need to pause, take a deep breath and continue when you’re ready.
- Speak slowly and clearly, as speaking too fast can make it difficult for people to follow your words.
- Be yourself - you don’t need to be a public speaker to give a heartfelt eulogy. All that matters is that you are sincere, so speak from the heart.
- Have a written copy of the eulogy to read from, or notes to remind yourself of talking points.
Writing a eulogy is an opportunity to reflect on a person’s life and the impact they made. While it can be an emotional process, it’s also a chance to celebrate the love and memories shared. Keep it personal, focus on the positive, and share stories that capture the essence of who they were.
Thank you for reading.
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